Unfinished Business š”
Posted: January 25, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Arts Creators, creativity, Music, Work In Progress Leave a commentEighteen months ago, I invited a bunch of friends to my flat in Gothenburg to hear me play some new songs. They werenāt quite finishedāāāsome were missing middle eights, some were definitely in the wrong key for my voice, all were untitledāāābut I needed the pressure of an upcoming performance to get the songs to a slightly more finished state.
Twenty or so brave souls ventured over for the night, beers in hand. And I proceeded to play the songs Iād written over the last month, explaining how theyād come about. Despite the multitude of mistakesāāālyrical, vocal and otherwiseāāāpeople seemed to enjoy peering behind the creative curtain, seeing a slight twist on the usual performance.
A year later I was back in London, living in a flat with my new wife, and telling her how Iād love to do something similar there. We thought our place was a little small but maybe we could arrange something similar at our church (which is a beautiful space) and invite lots more artists to show their work. So we rounded up a few friends and started planning.
Together, we made a list of artists, comedians, musicians, photographers, poets and writers who we thought might be interested in showing their half-baked creations. We invited people from within the church and outside the church, younger people and older people, seasoned performers and first-time, quaking-in-their-boots-at-the-prospect-of-it performers.
The result: Unfinished Business.
Our first edition, last Friday, featured:
- Lily talking about the creation of her new comedy web series, where a mid-thirties woman and her gay best friend buy (part of) a flat togetherā¦and discover itās haunted by a Nazi ghost.
- Sheena showing art that sheās created over many years, including sketches that she does each week on her church service sheet during the ~20-minute talk.
- Jack sharing untitled, unfinished short stories that had everyone in stitches. Including one that, as he explained to a rapt audience, was a metaphor for people struggling with grief.
- Me performing some more never-before-heard songs, including one that I wrote for Annabel at our wedding but didnāt perform because I didnāt think it could ever be good enough.
Some peopleās work was more finished, some less so. But, as Sheena said that night, our workās never really finishedāāāsometimes, we just have to stop.
My dream with the night is to inspire other peopleāāāespecially those who donāt consider themselves ācreativeāāāāto create, and to share their creations with others. Because weāre all creative and itās nourishing and inspiring to see what others are making. (Thatās why weāre donating 50% of our proceeds to Wac Arts, which helps young people get into the arts. The other 50% goes to the church to help with running costs.)
So when Jean (an incredible woman in her mid-seventies) approached me afterwards and said that she wanted to share something from her memoir that sheās currently writing, and Adrian (also in his seventies) said that he was inspired to recommence work on an idea for a play that he had 45 years ago (!), it felt like we set out exactly what we wanted to achieve.
Now, weāre planning Unfinished Business line-ups for the rest of 2018, and looking for London-based artists from diverse backgrounds and disciplines to share their work. Send me an email if you want to be a part of it: lukeleighfield@gmail.com.
See you at the next one?
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Locking it down š
Posted: January 12, 2018 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: New Year, Passwords, Privacy, Security, Surveillance Leave a commentI received a message from a shady Twitter account a few weeks ago asking if Iād be up for selling my soundcloud.com/luke URL. We had a back and forth about price, but when he decided it was higher than he was willing to pay, he started asking why all my passwords were a variation on the same word. And he knew the word. Which really gave me the willies.
I stopped replying and decided it was time to finally sort out my antiquated, circa-2001 password.
Enter Dashlane, a super-secure password manager. (There are a few of these that are more or less the sameāāāI just picked Dashlane for its snazzy design and whizzy app.) Within an hourāāāa very boring hourāāāIād changed all my important passwords to secure, unpronounceable gobbledigook. Iām paying a small amount for the Premium account so that my passwords are synced across devicesāāābut itās more than worth it for the peace of mind it provides. Iām now totally troll-ready.
Then, while flying to Mexico on Christmas Day, I read an illuminating / terrifying interview with Aral Balkanāāāa ācyborg rights activistā who travels the world teaching us about the dangers of the algorithms that are taking over our livesāāāin Offscreen Magazine. Again, it really gave me the willies.
I use all the Google products (Gmail, search, maps, calendar, etc.) and find its tailored features useful, mostly. But Balkan made me think about how these useful features might actually be pretty creepy. Or if theyāre not creepy now, they could well be in the future. In the age of Trump, and a UK prime minister with a track record of heavy-handed surveillance measures, the future feels a lot more unknown than it used to.
So when I got home this week, I made a few changes to my internet set-up:
- I switched my default browser from Chrome to Safari, combined with Balkanās own Better Blocker plugin, which eliminates ads and trackers that monitor you as you go about your browsing. As well as meaning Iām not being stalked as I go about my business, itās also sped up the loading time of pages. Zing!
- I stopped using Google search. Instead, Iām using Ecosia on desktop (which plants trees with its ad revenue) and DuckDuckGoās iOS app (which doesnāt store your info or track you.)
- Iām using Telegram instead of WhatsApp and iMessage. Itās not possible in all cases (itās pretty difficult to persuade all your friends to switch). But Iām using it for my most important, and frequent, conversationsāāāwith my wife, BFF and housemate.
With Black Mirror back on our screens, maybe 2018ās the year to start thinking about your online security and privacy. Iāll report back later in the year on whether Iāve stuck with the new set-up and whether itās made any difference.
Stay safe out there, kids!
If you enjoyed this, you might like my sometimes-weekly newsletter, Ten Things.
2017 in review š
Posted: December 19, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Book Recommendations, Music Review, Productivity, Self Improvement, Year In Review Leave a commentThis year was wild. I married the most wonderful woman I know. Sheās smarter, kinder and more generous than I am and is helping me become a better person. TY, Annabel! (She also hosts and produces an excellent podcast.)
I also finally wrapped up an eighteen-month long project to make a magazine about everyday runners. The end result is now in homes (and shops) around the world. And itās all thanks to the time and talents of Matt, Tom and Annabel.
Publishing Run for Your Life was one of the two new yearās resolutions that I managed to complete (out of 11). I think I was naive about just how much effort it would take to plan a wedding.
But a few of the dropped resolutions and projects made way for unexpected, new ones. Iām building an app with a couple of friends and also writing an incredibly silly musical with Lily. Look out for both of those things in 2018.
I was fired for the second time in my life, just days after returning from honeymoon. It was better than getting fired the first time. I started freelancing again, which means I get to spend way more time in my pants.
We took Blighfield on the road to Italy and Slovenia for our honeymoon, then to Berlin, Exeter, Gothenburg, Nottingham, Paris, PoznaÅ, Snowdonia and Southampton.
My bƤst men took me on a stag do in Sweden where we spent most of the weekend naked, except for the day where I had to wander around rainy Gothenburg in an adult nappy and little else.
I started four marathons and finished three. I puked twiceā once after the unfinished marathon, once after too much winter Pimmās.
I miss playing music but I hope to do more of that in 2018. Mind you, I said that this year. Next year, Iād like to read more books, spend less time reading Twitter, complete marathons without feeling sick, and be a better-than-average husband.
What about you? Iād love to hear about your year and its ups and downs: lukeleighfield@gmail.com.
Favourite recordsĀ šæ
- BleachersāāāGone Now
- Clean Cut KidāāāFelt
- Derrick HodgeāāāThe Second
- Gang of YouthsāāāGo Farther in Lightness
- HajkāāāHajk
- Leif VollebekkāāāTwin Solitude
- Linnea HenrikssonāāāLinnea Henriksson
- Loney DearāāāLoney Dear
- MUNAāāāAbout U
- NgaiireāāāBlastoma
- Noah GundersenāāāWhite Noise
- PhangsāāāGet in My Arms
- VulfpeckāāāMr Finish Line
- Zara LarssonāāāSo Good
Listen to one track from each of these records in my end-of-year playlist.
Favourite pop concertsĀ šø
- Chance the Rapper @ Wireless
- Gang of Youths @ Camden Assembly
- Joey Dosik @ Camden Assembly
- Leif Vollebekk @ Moth Club
- Loney Dear @ Servant Jazz Quarters
- MUNA @ Heaven
- The Hotelier @ The Dome
- The Rocket Summer @ Islington Academy
- The Xcerts @ Scala
- Vulfpeck @ Shepherdās Bush Empire
Favourite booksĀ š
Fiction
- Matt HaigāāāHow to Stop Time
- Marilynne RobinsonāāāGilead
- Zadie SmithāāāOn Beauty
- Gabriel TallentāāāMy Absolute Darling
Non-fiction
- Charles HandyāāāThe Second Curve
- Paul KalanithiāāāWhen Breath Becomes Air
- Naomi KleināāāNo is Not Enough
- Phil KnightāāāShoe Dog
- Cal NewportāāāDeep Work
- Esther PerelāāāThe State of Affairs
- Dave TomlinsonāāāBlack Sheep and Prodigals
See my entire 2017 book log on Instagram. Or be my pal on Goodreads.
Go back inĀ time
- Book logs: 2016, 2015, 2014
- Favourite records: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011
- New Yearās resolutions: 2016
If you enjoyed this, you might like my sometimes-weekly newsletter, Ten Things.
Keep on keeping on
Posted: February 6, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: New Years Resolutions, Productivity, Routine, Running, Self Improvement Leave a commentI started 2017 by making some resolutions. (Iām not going to share them now but if youāre interested, here are my resolutions from last year.) However, the start of the year has been crazy busy. I feel stressed out and anxious, like Iām hanging on by a thread. Like Iām constantly at breaking point.
Last week, I started a new full-time job that I love. But itās a big change from the freelance work Iāve done for the past couple of years, which afforded me large pockets of time to focus on personal projects.
Iām also training intensely for three marathons this spring. I want to cut my marathon P.B. time down, and Iām following a training plan that involves running ~100km per week for 12 weeks. It takes a lot of time. And I also need to rest properly so that I can do the training. And rest also takes time.
On top of that, my other resolutions include a bunch of creative projects that require time. Time that I simply canāt find at the moment.
As everything mounts up, I feel like dropping it all. Like watching Netflix every night with a beer in my hand. Like coming home and lazing around and not thinking about any of these resolutions. I feel like settling for an easy life.
But I know I donāt want that. Not deep down. I want to move forwards, to grow, to get better. And thatās not easy. But I know itās what I have to do in order to create the life that I want, with all the components that make for a rich, fulfilled existence. We only get a handful of days, and Iām trying to number mine.
So I set the alarm. Wake up. Do the early morning run. Work hard. Go home. See friends. Try to make small inroads with another project, even if itās simply sending an email or writing a few lyrics. Go to bed in good time. Get up. Start again. This it it.
I read so many posts from people on Medium who are doing things that I want to doāāāwhether itās reading loads of books, starting a business, or training for something. Often, they make it sound easy. Like youāre a dummy if youāre reading their words and canāt implement them yourself.
But sometimes, improving thingsāāāgetting betterāāāisnāt easy. Itās damn hard work. Itās back-breaking. It hurts. It feels impossible. If you feel that way, Iām there with you. Iām trying to move forwards and Iām finding it hard. There are moments of light at the end of the tunnelāāālike the 27km run I did on Sunday that felt easier, and was quicker, than the last oneāāābut theyāre few and far between. To have the good days, you have to endure the bad days. Thatās the trade-off. Thatās the deal.
One of my resolutions this year is to write something on Medium every month. Iād like to write more but, again, Iām balancing it with a load of other stuff thatās important to me. And as January drew to a close, I didnāt know what to write for the month. I felt empty, like I had nothing to say. So this is all I can shareāāāthat Iām trying, and that sometimes trying isnāt as easy as the pithy listicles and quotable one-liners that do the rounds. Sometimes, trying is really, really hard.
Iām writing this to you, sitting on the sofa with a beer in hand. Iām hoping that February will be easier. Until then, I guess we have to keep on keeping onāāāand hope that our efforts will be worth something.
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New Yearās resolutions in review
Posted: January 2, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Journaling, New Year, New Years Resolutions, Self Improvement, Vegan Leave a comment2016 edition
I find New Yearās resolutions useful. Iām wracked with anxiety, constantly overwhelmed, so having a set of priorities for the year is a useful way to channel my energies into a few things, rather than floundering in a sea of potential activities.
Some people prefer small, incremental change, but my black and white brain finds it easier to process big, lofty challenges. That sounds like a good thingāāāand it often isāāābut it can be paralysing. As the year draws to a close, this is a reflection on the goals I set in 2016; a chance to see whatās worked, what hasnāt, and whether Iāve achieved what I wanted to.
1. Read 52Ā books
Reading has become a regular part of my routine over the last few years. I squeeze it in where I can: in bed in the morning, over lunch, during commutes, sitting in cafĆ©s at the weekend, and, mostly, at night before I fall asleep. I spent many years not reading (including the years of my English Literature degreeāāāthanks, Cliffās Notes), but managed to read 52 books for the first time in 2014 after growing frustrated with myself for frittering away too much time on the internet. Last year, I tried to keep up a similar rate of reading and managed 42. In 2016, I thought I could get back to reading a book a week.
The start of the year went according to plan but various situations derailed my reading rhythm throughout the year: moving to Sweden in February, losing my job in March, and moving back to England in August. Reading wasnāt enough of a priority for me when life was messy. But considering the events of the year, I feel happy to have read as much as I haveāāāa grand total of 35 books (check out my book log). Itās always a meditative, nourishing experience and forces me to slow down and relax.
I want to keep reading in 2017 but in a less militant fashion. On top of the books Iāve been trying to read, I have subscriptions to Stack Magazines (12 issues/year), Delayed Gratification (four/year), Positive News (four/year) and Huck Magazine (six/year), so Iāve also been wading through 26 fairly meaty magazines. And thatās before we get to online stuff. With that, I usually save everything I want to read to Instapaper and check it out when I have time.
My appetite for words is as crippling as it is insatiable. Iām not sure what the answer is. Maybe, in 2017, Iāll try to read either a book or a magazine per week. So on top of all the magazines that make their way through my letterbox, Iāll aim to read 26 books.
2. Journal everyĀ day
If I had a dollar for every Medium article Iāve read about the benefits of journallingā¦ Anyway, I hoped this resolution would solve two problems: help me use up some of the Field Notes that I receive throughout the year with my annual subscription, and show me why people love journalling so much.
Well, I managed it. My entries were mostly nuts and bolts (woke up, did this thing, had lunch with x, ran home, made dinner for y), which I loved because it logged all the things I did with ink and paper. Itās easy to feel like days, weeks, months disappear with nothing to show for them, but this helped me see that I did actually do something.
However, I donāt think I set enough time aside for journalling in depthāāāi.e., processing my feelings and inner state. Thatās because I mostly journaled last thing at night when Iām tired, and also because I find it frustrating that writing by hand is so much slower than typing on a computer. Perhaps if Iād kept a journal on my computer then Iād have written (typed) more. But it wouldnāt have helped with using up those damn notebooks, and something about keeping a journal on a computer seems too techāāāIād rather use paper and pen.
I think Iāll keep this up in 2017 but try to make it less exhausting, perhaps by journalling solely with bullet points. I still want to find an outlet to write and think about things more deeply, which could be in diary form, but I think Iād find it easier to commit to writing a monthly Medium post where I reflect on whateverās on my mind. It also forces me to articulate myself better because I know that someone is going to read it.
3. GoĀ vegan
Inspired partly by notions of saving the planet and partly by a desire to get in better shape for running, I decided to cut out all meat and dairy. When people found out about it, theyād usually say a number of things:
āI could never go vegan because I love meat!ā
Um, you could. Itās not that I donāt love meat. I do! Itās that I think itās more important to reduce (or eliminate, for a time) my meat intake for the good of the planet than it is for me to eat everything I want to eat. Believe me, Iāve craved that chorizo and sweetcorn pizza from Homeslice this year. Iāve salivated as plates have been brought out at a restaurant and everyone around me has a beef burger while I have the veggie burger. But those cravings eased off, to the point where I donāt really miss meat anymore.
We deny ourselves things all the time. We say no to another slice of cake, even if we want it, because we know itās not healthy for us. Denying myself meat and dairy was the same kind of thing. I wanted it, but I also want the planet to be in some kind of shape to leave for our children and grandchildren.
āBut isnāt it hard to cook vegan?ā
No. If anything, itās easier. You just have to adapt the things you know how to cook, or find new things. My primary concern was chilli. I love chilli. So I went to Google, searched āvegan chilliā, and found this by Jamie Oliver. Itās that simple: Google the thing you want to cook and put āveganā in front of it. The ingredients are usually cheaper because meat is expensive. And, despite the protestations of staunch meat-lovers (yawn), tasty food is not all about meat.
Eating out can be harder, but not much. If Iām choosing the venue then Iāll use Foursquare to search for vegan-friendly places. But most places are accommodating towards vegan diets, especially in London. I love Thai, Indian, Mexican and Italian foods, and thereās always a range of options at those restaurants. I eat a lot of pizza and itās surprisingly good without cheeseāāāsometimes better.
The problem comes when someone else picks the venue and it doesnāt cater for vegans, which is usually more of an issue with English or American food. Thereās almost always something to eat, but it might be a salad (which is rarely enough to fill me up) or one other alternative that may not be your dream dish. But you learn to suck it up and realise itās not the end of the world. Iāve only been to one placeāāāa pub in Gothenburgāāāwhere there was nothing for vegans, except a side of chips. That time, I ate chips and had a sandwich when I got home.
āHow can you run marathons? Donāt you need to eat meat and eggs?ā
Again, thatās a myth. Take athletes like Scott Jurek (one of the worldās best runners), Rich Roll (lawyer turned ultra-runner) and John Joseph (punk rock icon, endurance athlete, and author of Meat is for Pussies). Theyāre just three examples of people crushing it in sports with a vegan diet.
Yes, you have to be careful with your diet and ensure youāre giving your body everything it needs. But if you eat a good mix of fruit and vegetables (itās kind of impossible not to if youāre vegan) and have some lentils every now and then, youāll be okay. The only supplement you definitely need is B12, although some people also take iron supplements, which I didnāt. Hereās a good guide to switching to a vegan diet.
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Iāve managed to stick to veganism pretty consistently throughout the year, with a few exceptions. A friendās family invited me to join them on holiday for a few days, and while they loosely accommodated my diet, it was unfair to expect them to cook completely veganāāāand it would have been rude of me to do my own thing. So I ate a load of cream and cheese and a few bits of fish. Another time, I went to a magazine event where the editors cooked us a meal in return for us telling them a story about food. Suddenly, some steak appeared and Iād have felt pretty rude turning it down. So, steak it was. (Iām not even the biggest steak fan.) Lastly, I ate ice cream all year because, well, everyone needs one cheat food, right?
As the yearās gone on, Iāve relaxed my self-imposed rules. If Iām at the office and (non-vegan) cake is handed around, I might have a slice. If thereās no soya milk left in the office fridge for my cereal, Iāll have cowās milk. In those cases, the items have already been bought and my decision to not eat them wonāt affect anything. That said, I think itās powerful to ask for vegan options when youāre eating out, even if you canāt see any on the menu. Asking for vegan cake at a cafĆ© tells them thereās an appetite for vegan food, and once a few people have asked then they might start offering it.
Looking to next year, Iām going to pursue a plant-based (not entirely vegan) diet. Itās simpler, healthier and cheaper, and I feel so much better for the switch. However, Iāll probably reintroduce meat and dairy in a small way, perhaps eating one meat-based meal each week, at a place where I really want to eat. I donāt completely disagree with eating animals, except for when theyāre treated badlyāāāalthough, of course, you can argue that killing and eating an animal is treating it pretty badly.
But I do disagree with the way many of us eat meat day in, day out, without thinking about it. Itās gluttonous and unnecessary. We donāt all need to stop eating meat and dairyāāāwe just need to eat way less of it for our diets to be sustainable along with the wellbeing of the planet.
4. GoĀ teetotal
I knew this year would be busy, what with starting a new job, training for marathons, and attempting to pursue other creative endeavours. I love drinking as a vehicle for meeting people but Iām also perfectly happy to go out and not drink. For me, drinking always takes more than it gives. I might have a āgood nightā and occasionally end up in a fun situation that wouldnāt have happened had I not been six beers deep. But thereās a lot to lose.
- Alcohol makes me sleep badly, so my body doesnāt recover from the general rigours of the day, let alone from running training, where my damaged tissues need time to heal.
- Alcohol gives me a headache and makes me feel ill, which makes doing everything else that much harder.
- Alcohol costs money. A lot of money.
- Alcohol upsets my mental state, often leaving me depressed and anxious.
- Alcohol helps me do stupid things that I donāt want to do.
- Alcohol makes it harder to get up the next day. Waking up for an eight-mile run is hard enough without a hangover, let alone with one.
So I quit. And itās been okay. The lack of hangovers (or even just a fuzzy head) made it much easier to get up in the mornings. I dread to think how much money I saved. And by not drinking throughout my rough patch in Sweden, where I was battling depression, Iām sure I saved myself further pain. If anything, Iāve found that other people have more of a problem with my teetotalism than I do. Sometimes, people seem offendedāāālike my decision is a judgement on their choice to drink (which itās not).
However, I did take to using snus occasionally while in Sweden. Iāve never smoked but I found the nicotine rush stilled my anxiety and helped me relax when I was at my most neurotic, which was a comfort. It increases the risk of cancer, but I donāt think I really used it enough to be at great risk. I hope.
I donāt really have a desire to return to my drinking days, for the reasons above. However, next year, I might indulge in a glass of red with dinner, or a delicious IPA if I find myself in a pub with something interesting on tap that I really want to try. I just donāt want to drink for the sake of it anymore.
5. Run a 3:15Ā marathon
I ran a 3:28 marathon near the end of 2015 and thought that 3:15 was a fair target this year. My trainingās ramped up over the past few years (810km in 2014; 2,112km in 2015; 2,430km in 2016) and Iāve been getting quicker. But when I ran the Stockholm Marathon in June, it all fell apart and I ended up with a 3:38 time. I was pretty disheartened.
However, I signed up for the Wolverhampton Marathon on a whim shortly after returning to England and managed to hang on for 3:18. Itās three minutes from the time I wanted but itās close enough. Iāve got four marathons in the pipeline for 2017. Two are trail marathons so I wonāt be breaking any records, but Iād like to get 3:10 in either Paris or London.
6. Get a promotion
I wanted to progress in my ~professional career~ this year and have a new job title to put on LinkedIn. It didnāt go totally according to plan (I was fired) but in a roundabout way, I got the job title I wanted and Iām happier than Iāve ever been in a proper, grown-up workplace.
7. Start EisĀ Life
At the end of 2015, a friend and I designed some clothing to celebrate the glory of ice cream. In January, I launched a Kickstarter campaign to print it. Thankfully, 47 other people thought it was a good idea and the project was funded, as well as featured by Kickstarter. I had plans to do more with Eis Life but theyāve fallen by the wayside as other projects have come along. But still, it happened and now 47 people are walking around with an Eis Life logo on their person.
8. Play classical piano
I started playing piano when I was four and proceeded through all the grades. When I went to university, I decided it was more fun to play pop than Poulenc, so my classical piano playing ground to a halt. But in recent years, Iāve had pangs for Mozart et al. again and have dabbled occasionally. When I got my apartment in Gothenburg, the first thing I did was buy a piano. And for the months that I was there, I played a bunch of Copland, Debussy and Beethoven. However, Iām now back in London with no room for a piano, and playing the likes of the above on my keyboard isnāt so fun. Next year, Iād like to make more time for classical piano than I did this year, and find a real piano to practice on.
9. Start a new musicĀ project
After a solo ācareerā thatās spanned 11 years, Iām hankering to try something new. There are a few musical projects I want to have a stab at but only one that I made progress with this year. In short, I wrote an EP that will hopefully become something more, in collaboration with a friend. If it doesnāt, Iāll release the songs in another form in the near future. I want to make progress on this project next year, and also start another. And possibly make another Luke Leighfield record.
10. LearnĀ Swedish
When I moved to Gothenburg, I didnāt want to make the same mistake as when I moved to Berlināāānot learning the language. I didnāt think Iād stay long enough in Berlin for it to matter, although I ended up being there for two and a half years. This time, I thought Iād be in Gothenburg for a number of years but left after six months.
Despite that, I managed to complete Duolingo after a couple of months of being in Sweden. And, in case youāre curious, completing Duolingo by no means gives you fluency in a language; I could just about order dinner and tell someone the colour of their cat. But I guess I did ālearn Swedishā to a degree.
If you want to ask me about anything above, or tell me what a bad vegan I am, then Iām on Twitter and have an email address: lukeleighfield@gmail.com. We can be running pals on Strava, reading pals on Goodreads, and you can buy an Eis Life t-shirt here.
How about you: Did you make any resolutions in 2016? Are you going to make any in 2017? Seriously, I want to know.
Hereās to all of us thriving in 2017.
If you enjoyed this, you might like my weekly newsletter, Ten Things.
2016 book log
Posted: December 27, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Books, Personal Growth, Reading, Recommended Reading, Self Improvement Leave a commentI didnāt have quite as much time to read this year as in previous years but I managed to make my way through a few books. Iām sharing them in the hope that youāll find something new to readāāāand perhaps youāll share your favourite books from the year with me, too.
Follow me on Goodreads, Instagram and Tumblr for more frequent reading updates through 2017. Or you can sign up to my weekly email newsletter, Ten Things. Happy reading!
P.S. Here are my book logs from 2015 and 2014.
Fiction picks
- A Little LifeāāāHanya Yanagihara
- Carrying Albert HomeāāāHomer Hickam
- The Course of LoveāāāAlain de Botton
- The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and DisappearedāāāJonas Jonasson
- The Sense of an EndingāāāJulian Barnes
Non-fiction picks
- The Hidden Pleasures of LifeāāāTheodore Zeldin
- Let My People Go SurfingāāāYvon Chouinard
- Big MagicāāāElizabeth Gilbert
- Becoming WiseāāāKrista Tippett
- Bird by BirdāāāAnne Lamott
Full 2016 bookĀ log
- The 100-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and DisappearedāāāJonas Jonasson
- Black Coffee BluesāāāHenry Rollins
- How to be a Bad ChristianāāāDave Tomlinson
- In Praise of SlowāāāCarl HonorĆ©
- The Obstacle is the WayāāāRyan Holiday
- The Concise 48 Laws of PowerāāāRobert Greene
- Bird by BirdāāāAnne Lamott
- The Hidden Pleasures of LifeāāāTheodore Zeldin
- Hyperbole and a HalfāāāAllie Brosh
- The Return of the Prodigal SonāāāHenri Nouwen
- Carrying Albert HomeāāāHomer Hickam
- How to Be HereāāāRob Bell
- PureāāāRose BretĆ©cher
- On WritingāāāStephen King
- Brave EnoughāāāCheryl Strayed
- Good TroubleāāāJoe Biel
- So Good They Canāt Ignore YouāāāCal Newport
- Letters to a Young PoetāāāRainer Maria Rilke
- Big MagicāāāElizabeth Gilbert
- Information Doesnāt Want to Be FreeāāāCory Doctorow
- A Little LifeāāāHanya Yanagihara
- Itās Okay to Laugh (Crying is Cool Too)āāāNora McInerney Purmort
- Footnotes: How Running Makes Us HumanāāāVybarr Cregan-Reid
- Becoming WiseāāāKrista Tippett
- The Way of the RunnerāāāAdharanand Finn
- Grief is the Thing with FeathersāāāMax Porter
- We Donāt Know What Weāre DoingāāāThomas Morris
- The Examined LifeāāāStephen Grosz
- Fathomless RichesāāāRichard Coles
- A Whole LifeāāāRobert Seethaler
- The Zimzum of LoveāāāRob and Kristen Bell
- The Sense of an EndingāāāJulian Barnes
- Let My People Go SurfingāāāYvon Chouinard
- The Course of LoveāāāAlain de Botton
- Silence and Honey CakesāāāRowan Williams
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Running with the vegans
Posted: October 10, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Adventure, Friendship, Marathon, Running, Vegan Leave a commentThe Google-translated post read:
Hello everyone!
Now on Sunday I thought Iād challenge myself a little bit, and take skatĆ„s 18 km-round double up, therefore 36 (give or take) km. I imagine that Iāll get started at about five oāclock that lest I suffer sunstroke or how now the weather is. Time is negotiable but not too soonāāāI canāt do that.
I hope to be able to keep pace between 5:40 and 6:00 / km.
Does anyone want me?
Iād joined the Vegan Runners Gƶteborg Facebook group that week after hearing that vegan running groups are a thing. As a recent convert to veganism, and always looking for people to run with, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to make friends with some Swedes. Itās always pleasant to have company on a run, especially the longer weekend jaunts where hours of hitting the trails can quickly descend from elation to drudgery. So I registered my interest, explaining that my running was substantially better than my grasp of Swedish.
A slew of comments went back and forth in a mixture of Swedish, English and Swenglish, until finally it was settled. We werenāt just doing it. We were fucking doing it.
And so it was that I found myself running to SkatĆ„s to meet these two kindred spirits who find the idea of spending their Sunday afternoons running 36km through a forest to be, well, fun. The possibility of sunstroke in Kristofferās original post was optimisticāāāit was drizzly, grey and miserable, living up to Gothenburgās title of āthe rainy city.ā But despite using Instagramās new stories feature to banter with my followers about the possibility that I was putting myself at the mercy of two strangers who could very well be plotting to murder me and leave me in a ditch, I was excited.
Iāve experienced the unexpected camaraderie that running can provide a number of times. When I lived in Berlin in 2013, a co-worker, Monal, offered to help me train for my first marathon by accompanying me on my long runs. To say I was outclassed would be an understatement; sheād previously run track at Stanford. And then thereās Anders, my Swedish running buddy. I met him at a music festival I was playing three years ago, and upon finding out I was a runner (albeit much slower back then), he invited me to join him for a run that day. Since moving to Gothenburg, weāve run together most weeks. He competes in the Swedish national championships.
I had no idea what to expect from my afternoon with Jonathan and Kristofferāāāexcept sore legs. Conversation started around what we were training for, whether weād run this route before, and gearāāāI was eyeing up Jonathanās delicious new Osprey running backpack with a magnetic clip for his water pipe. It had a lot of handy compartments. Soon enough, we landed on veganism. Thankfully, neither of my companions were militant vegans; they were both forgiving of my cheat food, ice cream, which I still eat in its animal-based form.
As anyone whoās ever held a walking meeting will attest, conversation flows easier when youāre in motion; pauses seem less awkward, eye contactāāāwhich I still find challenging (for some reason, prolonged eye contact makes me feel like weāre moving towards a kiss)āāābecomes unnecessary, and your brain works better with the increased flow of oxygen. The effects multiply when youāre running. The cadence of speech takes on an entirely different rhythm as you struggle to catch your breath on an uphill climb, or direct your attention to navigating a technical section of ground without tripping over roots. Your conversation mimics the space that youāre moving throughāāāexpansive, natural. Youāre forced to slow down.
Maybe thatās how we ended up talking about topics that would usually be out of bounds for first meetings. I heard about both Jonathan and Kristofferās families, and the trials of juggling running training with raising two young children. We entered the no-no conversational territory of faith and the churchās stance on homosexuality. Then, as afternoon drifted into early evening, and Jonathan peeled off to get back home for dinner with his family, Kristoffer and I traded stories about our struggles with depression, and how runningās helped both of us fight our way out of The Pit. Something that should feel uncomfortableāāādiscussing oneās innermost struggles with a strangerāāāseemed totally acceptable. Maybe the mixture of runnerās high and total exhaustion breaks down your defences and allows you to tackle the, ahem, meaty stuff without fearing the consequences.
After the runāāāin a weakened, nauseous state thatās become customary whenever I exert myself more than usualāāāKristoffer and I went to a supermarket for recovery snacks. When Iām in that fragile state, Iām never entirely sure what my bodyās crying out for. I scan the shelves and hope the answer reveals itself to me. I plumped for a Zingo drink but couldnāt quite work out which solid food would sit well in my stomachās tempestuous condition.
Kristoffer and I were headed the same way home and had to hobble-sprint to catch the tram before it departed without us. As we sat down and Kristoffer tucked into the honey-roasted peanuts heād just picked up, he offered them to me and my stomach uttered a resounding āyesā. Thankfully, heād bought two packets and as I left the tram, shaking his hand and insisting that we have to do this again sometime, he offered the remainder of the peanuts as a parting gift. I munched them all the way home and thought about this bittersweet, mysterious lifeāāārife with depression and hardship, but rich in unexpected generosity and friendship.
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Lakes and Trails: Swim-Run Sweden
Posted: August 11, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Footnotes, Running, Sweden, Swimming, Triathlon Leave a commentSweden is a land of lakes and adventureāāāperfect for the intrepid swim-runner
Summer is my favourite time of year to run. Some hate the heat and the additional sweatiness, but after months of training on cold, dark mornings, returning from runs with numb extremities that defrost in the shower as you wince and wait for the pain to pass, I find running in warmer climes is a welcome relief. In northern Europe, the season of salty sweat streaks crystallising on your face after a sunny run is briefāāāyou need to enjoy it while you can.
Iāve trained in the cold before, battling with Berlinās frosty streets in 2013 in preparation for my first ever marathon. But those conditions paled in comparison to Sweden, where I moved in February this year. At times, as I scoured the internet for cold-weather running gloves that would perform as stated and keep my fingers from going numb, it felt like spring would never come, the ice on the ground would never melt.
But spring arrived, as it always does, and with it I was gifted a whole world of running delights that more than made up for the inhospitality of the winter months. I moved to a new apartment in the east of the city and found myself, entirely by accident, living next to the largest forest in Gothenburg, SkatƄs, filled with runners streaming along endless crisscrossing trails. As spring became summer, SkatƄs turned out to be the gift that kept on giving.
My typical 10km route begins at my apartment, quickly followed by some weaving between commuters hopping on and off trams at Redbergsplatsen. From there, I pass through a sprawling graveyard, which leads to SkatĆ„sās forest trails. Flanked by trees on either side, I push on for another kilometre or so before the path opens out to the sight of HƤrlanda tjƤrn, a shimmering lake that marks my halfway point. And it was during an early-June heatwave that I decided, as I reached the head of the loop, to take off my shoes and jump in.
Sweden has a mild obsession with swim-run. The Gothenburg archipelago plays host to a number of races, the most famous being ĆTILLĆ, which literally translates as āisland to islandā. Itās a gruelling event where teams of two have from dawn until dusk to swim between, and run across, all 26 islandsāāāwhich amounts to 10km swimming and 65km running. With the sea temperature dipping as low as 10ĖC, itās not for the faint-hearted.
While Iām not quite at the point of undertaking such a challenge, I can certainly see the attraction in a mid-run dopp. Having spent most of my running years in the English countryside, where wild swimming is much harder to come byāāāunless one wants to dice with death in the River Severnā the presence of a lake on my doorstep, one that permitted me to jump in, is a gift. In his excellent book, Footnotes: How Running Makes Us Human, Vybarr Cregan-Reid writes:
āRunning provides us with an opportunity to indulge in a kind of kinetic empathy with the world around us [ā¦] [It] changes who you are, and how you see, feel and sense the outsideĀ world.ā
As a runner, you interact with your surroundings in an entirely different way. You witness the flora and fauna changing day by day; you experience the weather not only by sight, but through the smells that fill your nose as you gasp for breath on an uphill sprint, and the feeling of the ground underneath your feetāāāsoft and pliable after rainfall, crisp and responsive after a sun-baked day. And that dialogue with nature runs deeper still when you submerge your whole form into water during a run, becoming at one with the surroundings that youād previously only regarded from a distance.
Cregan-Reid continues:
āThere have been a number of studies which aim to accurately measure the various health benefits to be derived from spending a little time breathing the air of the forest. The neuropsychological effects bring about real changes in our nervous and immune systems.ā
Far from simply being a pleasant experience, studies suggest that this time in nature truly changes us, makes us healthier. Which is why I find it all the more saddening when, passing the local gym between my apartment and the lake, I run past a line of people uniformly pounding on treadmills that look out on the street, headphones keeping reality at bay. As a recent New Yorker piece on the proliferation of headphones states, āThe outside world, once a shared auditory environment, has been effectively fractured. We now lilt about in our own bubbles of self-programmed sound.ā Itās a far cry from a headphones-free run in the forest, where one is treated to birdsong and the simple pleasure of hearing feet crunching on earth.
Cregan-Reid quips that āGym users seem oddly infantilised as they suck on the teats of their water bottles.ā Harsh, perhaps, but I find it mind-boggling that people would choose to run on a machine that was invented as a torture device for prisoners in the 1800sāāāpaying a premium to do soāāāwhen their neighbourhood offers the chance to run and swim in stunning surroundings that are seldom available in most cities. I feel like bursting through the doors, grabbing them by the hand, and leading them to the trails like some kind of running-crazed Pied Piper.
Itās early June. My debut dive into the lake is a shock to the system but Iām surprised by how warm the water is. One perk of swimming in a lake over the sea is that thereās far less water for the sun to warm, so the temperature is mild even on grey days. I swim outāāāsome light breast stroke to start, then a good minute of front crawl to take me to the centre of the lake. As I lift my head out from under the water and flip on to my back, kicking gently to keep myself afloat, I look up to see Iām surrounded by forest on all sides, with nothing but blue skies and the occasional wispy cloud overhead. Water fills my ears, deadening my senses. I drink in the sights and let the water soothe my aching legs.
Over the past few weeks, the temperature has plummeted and itās been raining in Gothenburg. Some are saying itās the end of Summer, but itās only early August and I know that thereās plenty still to come. As soon as the clouds part and the sunlight breaks through, youāll find me in the lake.
Swim-run season is far from over.
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The 100-marathon man
Posted: July 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Aging, Marathon, Personal Development, Running Leave a commentKen Butler is a 74-year-old car salesman. Heās also aĀ runner.
Ken and I first met at the Chester Marathon in October 2015, where he was taking part with my brother. I was instantly fascinated by his story; Kenās a perfect gentleman with impeccable manners that remind you of a bygone era. And heās far from a running nerd, never looking to engage in a discussion about gels or splits or PBs.
Despite that, heās run well over 100 marathons since taking up running 37 years ago. I asked if I could pick his brains on his experiences with running and he agreed to a chat.
When do you start slowingĀ down?
Itās been a very slow decline really because Iāve never been all that competitive. If I do a marathon or a half, I just want to get around. My best time ever was at the New York Marathon in 2004, which was 3:42. I used to average around four hours for a marathon and now Iām up to the five-hour mark. Eventually, itāll be five and a half or six hours, but that wonāt really come into it. Getting around is the most important thing. I got into the London Marathon on a good-for-age time last week!
Does running ever getĀ easier?
I think itās always been much the same. Years ago, I joined the Evesham Running Club and went for nine months. I found that being at work until six oāclock and then getting changed and being at the running club by seven oāclock and doing about five miles or more was very enjoyableāāāit made me a lot more competitiveāāābut Iāve never really been a competitive runner. Iāve just done it to enjoy myself. I donāt think about personal bests, anything like that. I just enjoy doing what I do. When I was in the running club, I met some nice guys, really nice people, but they donāt run anymore. I think itās because they put too much into it, got too competitive and it caused problems in their joints.
For example, when I ran the Stockholm Marathon a few weeks ago, I get to the start and I donāt really think about it. We get started and off we go. I donāt worry about the start and I donāt worry about the finish. I donāt get nerves or anything beforehand, I just do it. I know it sounds a bit bolshy but thatās it. Iāve never taken it seriously and I think thatās one of the reasons Iām still going.
How do you avoid injuries?
Iām sort of a natural runner. Iām very lucky because even now, I donāt have any leg or knee problems. I fall over occasionally and thatās about it! Iāve never read much about running, Iāve just got on and done it.
I have a pretty good diet. Iāve got a juice extractor and I have fresh carrot juice and orange juice at least three or four times a week. I take loads of cod liver oil, Iāve been drinking it out of the bottle for well over thirty years. I drink quite a bit of water if I think about it. My dad used to have a juice extractor and I guess I got it from there. I put broccoli in there and juice thatāāāitās terrible stuff, it smells, it really does. But I think that and possibly genes help a lot. I’d say itās a combination of diet and not being too competitive.
How do you avoid injuries?
āI take loads of cod liver oil, Iāve been drinking it out of the bottle for well over thirtyĀ years.ā
Are there any obstacles that stop you from runningĀ now?
The biggest obstacle now is time to train but Iāll go out in the mornings at about 5:30, 5:45āāāwith a torch when itās darkāāāand Iāll do a five- or six-mile run with a torch, all down country lanes so there are no kerbstones to fall over. Iāll take my mobile phone as well. Itās a bit scary at first but you realise that country lanes are probably the safest place to be because thereās no traffic. And where we live, the running area is wonderful.
I donāt do loads and loads of training before a marathon because I find now, as I get older, I have to try to keep my energy in reserve, and if I take too much out of myself, it takes a long time to get it back in again.
Do you see a finish line on theĀ horizon?
No, I donāt. I really donāt. Iām very aware that one day, maybe Iāll do a marathon or half marathon and might sustain an injury and that may be it. But I would hope itās a long way away. Running is like eating. Itās just essential to me, more so as Iāve got older. I still work and if I couldnāt run, I think everything would degenerate very quickly.
I think what runningās taught me is that if you can keep physically fit most of the time, and youāre mentally fit, then you can make decisions. I donāt get too depressed about things eitherāāāI tend to have a fairly optimistic outlook on life, which as you get older is much harder to attain.
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29 kilometres, 29 years
Posted: July 14, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Birthday, Running, Sweden, Trail Running Leave a commentThe inaugural birthdayĀ run
Thereās so much pressure to do something fun on your birthday, something special, something worthy of a birthday. So when people asked me what I was going to do on my birthdayāāāwhich is todayāāāI felt like a lemon for not having a good plan.
I crushed it last year. Back then, I was living in London and all my friends were working while I, a freelancer, had done the smart thing and taken a day off. Only it wasnāt so smart because, as mentioned, everyone was working. So I took myself out for the perfect day: an early morning, pre-work, fancy coffee with one of my favourite Toms (on the left), followed by reading The Rosie Project outside Hackney Picturehouse while waiting for the lunchtime showing of Dear White People, which I watched alone (this is a good thing). Then I met another of my favourite Toms at Westfield Stratford to eat pizza at Franco Manca, followed by smoking dodgy tea leaf cigarillos that Tom had bought from some shady guy at a market and drinking whisky on Tomās balcony. I also hosted a house party where the questionable photo to the left was taken.
So the bar was pretty high and the circumstances for this year even harder. For one, I live in Gothenburg now and many of my dearest friends are in England. Not only that, but the friends I do have in Gothenburg are either working or have retreated to a summer house; Swedes really do summerāāāthereās no staycationing here. I felt like a bit of a Billy no mates. To top it off, my relaxing day off was hijacked by some urgent freelance work and a job interview, leaving just a few hours to squeeze in something suitably birthday-esque.
Iāve been running a lot latelyāāāpartly because thatās something I do nowadays, but also because Iām training for a big race later this yearāāāand while I was out on yesterdayās nine-miler, I finally had an idea: I could do a special run for my birthdayāāāone kilometre for every year Iāve been alive, a 29-kilometre jaunt through the forest. A way to mark the day and celebrate the years Iāve been given.
When midday rolled around, I strapped on my bag (jacket, book, headphones, water) and stepped out the door to the sun attempting to shine, which was about as good a weather scenario as I could hope for. I headed to my usual running haunt, SkatĆ„s, but this time went deeper into the forest, running around the Delsjƶn lakes that are usually too far away for a casual midweek run. I saw some horses by the side of the road in Mƶlndal, where I also discovered a special Mƶlndal Snapchat filter, and achieved definite moments of the infamous ārunnerās high.ā At home, surrounded by my laptop and books and magazines and Netflix, itās so hard to focus on one thing and feel relaxed. But when Iām running, like today, itās the only place I want to be.
Itās funny how running has crept into my lifeāāāfrom being a thing I was trying out back in 2010, to a thing I had to do in order to train for a marathon in 2013, to being a thing I now canāt cope without. The past few months have been trying. Iāve experienced the lowest, darkest moments of my life where Iāve wondered if things will ever improve. And on those days, I canāt always bring myself to get out for a run. But when I manage to clamber out of the pit enough to pull on my trainers, I reap the benefits.
Thereās not always a tangible high or something magical happening but running levels me out. It brings me closer to my true self. It offers time to think, to focus, dedicated time to listen to new albums or podcasts or nothing at all. It gets me outdoors when I can easily spend a day without leaving my apartment or seeing another human being. It keeps me healthyāāānot just physically, but mentally.
So today I want to say thank you. For the 29 years Iāve been gifted on earth, more than so many people get. For the healthy body Iām in, when so many people are struggling in bodies that donāt do what they want them to do. For the birthday greeting from Tinder. And for running, for helping me stay alive.
P.S. 30 km, same time next year. Join me?
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